What Is Keeping You Stuck
We all have, on one level or another, things we wish to change in our lives.
Perhaps we want to ditch the junk food and get off the couch, start earning more money, or find love with someone who truly sees and appreciates us for who we are, or maybe there's something else we really want.
No matter what we’re aiming for, we’ve been taught from a young age to jump straight into action, to ‘Just Do It’ like the famous Nike ad suggests, hoping to achieve the results we desire.
As most of us have experienced, in one way or another, no matter how strong our desire might be, we often find that what we want feels even further away despite our efforts, or it seems to slip through our fingers just when we’re close. We end up right back where we started, feeling stuck, frustrated, and wondering why making a change can be so tough.
Why does this happen? Why do some changes feel like a constant uphill battle, while others unfold with surprising ease?
Most of us never learned that actions and their outcomes are the final steps in the creation process (which I'll explain further below). We often focus on the 'doing', without really grasping how actions come to be and what drives them.
At the root of it all are the subconscious beliefs we carry about ourselves, others, and life. Everything we think, feel, do, label, and interpret... is filtered through these subconscious lenses.
These beliefs develop in our formative years, influenced by our experiences, traumas, caregivers, and cultural background. They became the framework through which we assess our worth, define what's possible, and determine what kind of life we think we deserve.
Every thought we have originates from these perspectives. Our thoughts then shape our emotional state. And our emotions affect the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the outcomes we encounter.
Perspective → Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results
When we try to change something in our lives and keep feeling blocked, it’s easy to get frustrated or assume we’re doing something wrong, or that we’re not trying hard enough.
But there’s a saying: “Our outer circumstances reflect our inner realities.”
In other words, when a situation keeps repeating, or triggers a strong emotional response, life might be pointing us inwards, inviting us to look beneath the surface and explore the internal patterns or beliefs that are causing that block.
Whether you're trying to lose weight and have tried every diet and workout plan, working hard for a promotion that never seems to happen, stuck in relationships that don’t nourish you, or you can't seem to boost your productivity even with all the productivity apps you've downloaded.
All these scenarios are signals that something within asking for attention.
If your unconscious perspective is, “I am worthless” then no matter how disciplined or well-intentioned your actions may be, they’ll always carry the energy of that belief. It will also show up as self-sabotage, procrastination, avoidance, or a sense of emptiness even if goals are achieved.
If your unconscious perspective is, “I am unlovable”. You might push love away out of fear, or cling to it out of desperation. You might also find yourself chasing emotionally unavailable people or sabotaging connections that feel too intimate.
If you grew up hearing "Money is for other people" you might have absorbed the belief that abundance is not meant for you. So even if you earn well or work hard, a part of you will quietly block your ability to receive or sustain it.
To reclaim your power, the work begins not with doing, but with awareness.
We begin by gently investigating the beliefs and identities that have been running the show.
Ask yourself:
Where did these beliefs originate?
What did I feel during those early moments?
What did I need but not receive?
What meaning did I make about myself as a result?
And because these beliefs can be hard to spot directly, a good clue is to follow the trail of your triggers.
Any time you feel angry, sad, anxious, ashamed, or hurt, the circumstance may be pointing to an inner wound.
As we bring curiosity and compassion to these parts and shed light on the unconscious stories driving our behavior, we begin to realize that the identity we’ve been living from was shaped by a scared or hurt child, who viewed life and herself in a way that prioritized her safety.
These insights open up a whole new world of possibilities. From this place, we find understanding and compassion for self and others. And it’s where aligned actions can gradually emerge, rooted in clarity and alignment with our true essence rather than the fear instilled by our past conditioning.
These actions vibrate at a different frequency and energy, resulting in different outcomes. Not necessarily because the actions themselves are fundamentally different, but because they arise from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.
Reflection
I’d like to invite you to remember a situation that stirred up a challenging emotion, whether it happened today or years ago.
It could be something as ordinary as being cut off in traffic, or something more personal, like a tense exchange with your partner, boss, or parent.
Once you've chosen the moment, gently ask yourself:
What did they do or say that triggered me?
You might think, “Of course I got upset, he was being an idiot.” or, “She disrespected me when she said that.”
But here’s the deeper invitation:
Can you feel into the part of you that got hurt?
The part that felt unseen, dismissed, disrespected, or not good enough?
And then ask yourself:
What must I have believed about myself for that to hurt so much?
What story about my worth, my value, my safety was already living inside me?
This is where the real freedom lies.
